CommitmentPhobia
by Naomi Shadows
Summary: When he heard those 3 words, Riku can only run from them. Running from the truth he finds himself running from happiness as well, but he can't admit it. Anger/Angst, yaoi. Riku/Sora, Riku/Roxas
1. Riku

"Riku, I love you."

I think my mouth probably fell open. Of all people, I hadn't expected it from him, and yet I knew it was only a matter of time somewhere deep inside.

"What?" I was shaking my head without realizing it. This is what I'd been afraid of.

"Please, Riku. Listen." He reached for me, restraining my wrists before I could back away. "I know you're afraid of commitment, but please. I know we can do it. Please!" His small hands were trying to wrap around mine but I was too strong. He was pleading, but I could understand less and less.

Finally I stumbled back onto the couch. Inanimate objects always worked in Sora's defense. Suddenly he was in my lap, his legs around mine, hands on my chest, lips at my neck. His short brown hair was soft against my skin.

"Please, don't leave me. I love you."

Again. Those words. It was too much for me. My mind shut down.

When he moved his lips to mine for the first time I was still. He tried again but I didn't respond.

His emotions caught up with him and tears streamed from his eyes. I could feel him shaking with each sob. I had to leave before anything else happened. Lifting him off of my lap I placed him on the couch as I stood.

"I'm sorry, Sora, but I can't be with you anymore."

The crying was quickly muffled by his hands as I walked out the door.


	2. Roxas

For a month I tried to forget that day. I put it in the back of my mind. But every day the mirror in which I looked at myself became more and more distorted. I refused to admit it.

I drown out my thoughts with something else. As I knocked on the door and a small blonde answered, I was sure he already knew what I wanted. I was mistaken to think how much he really knew.

Even as I closed the door I had one thing on my mind. And suddenly we were in the bedroom and his moaning filled my mind. He was under me, in my arms, anywhere I wanted him to be. My hands roamed every curve of his naked body. Being inside him made him scream for more. I wanted this to last forever, and block out everything in my mind.

Afterwards, as I drifted in and out of sleep, I could feel him beside me. He propped up on an elbow to look over me with a frown .

"Where are you?" His fingers were raking through my hair. "You came back, but you're not here.." He kissed my cheek.

I turned to face him with half lidded eyes. "Roxas?"

"You know, I never wanted Riku to come back. But you're not him." There was a faint smile on his lips, but the sadness didn't leave his eyes. "I think Riku finally changed. He's happy… with Sora, but for some reason you can't find him. And now you're empty."

This wasn't what I wanted to hear. I got out of bed and grabbed for my clothes.

"Are you afraid of being happy?" He hadn't moved, or raised his voice.

It was like I couldn't block him out. "I don't need this." I left the room as I dressed.

You're wandering around like you're lost, but your heart is exactly where you left it! With Sora!" His voice followed me, "Stop running from love. And don't come back until you've gained the courage to find yourself."

I was out the door slamming it behind me.


	3. Axel

I hadn't noticed that day, all the signs in Roxas' house. Pictures, shoes, clothes that weren't his. It had been months and I hadn't thought once what he'd done while I'd been gone.

A month later, it caught up with me.

I was sitting on a bench when he walked by. Brown hair perfect, as always. Forlorn blue eyes. I had watched him for a month and the expression hadn't changed.

Then, a man with red hair stopped him and his expression faded. I couldn't read his lips, they were too far away. Sora's back was to me as the redhead moved him aside, smiling slyly. I didn't like that look in his eyes. Then, without warning, he looked up at me and smiled. He knew I was watching. And as he put his arm around Sora and began to walk away I saw the brunette smile.

Now I was pissed.

I still had my key to Sora's house. I tried to ignore the throb in my chest, whatever that was. I walked in and Sora looked up at me from the couch. His eyes went wide. His smile faded into surprise.

There was a jacket on the table. I looked around and he came into the living room from down the hall. Had he been in the bedroom? He was buttoning his shirt. I could only assume!

I attacked him without thinking, but he was ready. He grabbed me and threw me against the wall.

His eyes were piercing, but when he spoke, it surprised me. "Jealous?"

"What!?" I fought back and found myself on the floor, on my back. He sat on top of me, pinning my arms. "Who are you!?"

He smiled, "Axel. Don't forget it." And suddenly he was standing, pulling me to my feet. His hand poked my chest, "Can you feel it? Your heart? It needs him." The he touched my face. "You finally admit it, just by coming."

Confused, I didn't know what to say.

Sora was at my side, crying again, "You kept it! You kept the key. You do love me." He was in my arms and my arms were around him.

The redhead introduced himself again. "The names Axel. I'm Roxas' man." He touched Sora's cheek. "We wanted Sora to be happy. Roxas was right about you." And he was gone.


	4. Sora

His hands were moving across my chest, removing my shirt. My pants. His clothes. And we were in his room as he moved to sit on my lap, his legs around me. His mouth was on my neck, my lips, pushing his tongue into my mouth. Now I was the one moaning as he took me inside him. Had I been so empty until now?

I could feel my heart beating for the first time in months, since I'd left. Each beat hurt.

He pulled away to breath, never stopping the motion in his hips. "Riku, tell me you love me."

It was a demand that he wouldn't let slip by. I couldn't deny him anymore. It hurt too much. I could feel the words forming in my moth before I could stop. They came out as a moan, "I… I love you, Sora."

He smiled and the arms around me retracted. He shoved me onto the back and kissed me roughly, "I love you too."


End file.
